Coming to London

 

     We lived in a cottage on the estate of the Manor House my Grandparents worked at. It was a smaller house only staffed by a few people, my Grandma was the housekeeper and ran the inside of the estate and my Grandpa was the groundskeeper and ran the outside of the estate. I would sometimes help my Gran around the house but mostly I was allowed to run around the grounds and village. The family that owned the estate had two children, a boy 2 years older than me named Andrew and a girl who was my same age named Lucy. The mother hated the city so she chose to live in the manor house with the children; since I was the same age as her daughter she invited me to join her children with their tutor, and that’s how we became close.

     From ages 3 till 7 the 3 of use were practically inseparable. When I was 7 and he was 9 Andrew was sent to a French boarding school by the order of his father who said he needed a more proper education. That year they also started spending the summers in France and I wouldn’t see Andrew again till I was 16. Lucky and I became much closer after that only having each other now. As the years passed we grew closer than sister and as we hit puberty that closeness became physical. We would find any opportunity where we would be found, which wasn’t always easy, and this went on for a few years.

     The Summer after I turned 16 was the first in many years where the family didn’t go to France, and Andrew came home. Andrew had finished school and was preparing for University so he had decided to come home. One day while me and Lucy were in the sable up in the loft Andrew found us, he didn’t know exactly what to do we all just stared at each other. Once the shock wore off we all ran, he ran to his sister starting to Bombard her asking what she was thinking, I ran for the rotting ladder on the edge of the loft, and she ran for the stairs or at least tried to before getting stopped by her brother. I expected him to take her to their parents and tell them what he found, but if he had something would have happened right? For the rest of the day till late into the evening I tried to keep busy, acting like nothing was different from usual; which made my Grandparents Immediately suspicious. I was returning some supplies to the loft, it was also where my Grandpa kept some yard tools, when I got to the top of the stairs Andrew was there.

     Andrew was asleep in the same hay pile that he had caught Lucy and I earlier. I tried not to wake him up, I wasn’t ready to have this interaction yet. I went to the cupboard and put the tools away and that’s when I heard him, he yawned and I turned and we looked each other in the eye for a moment. 

     “ Oh good I wanted to talk to you.” He said, sounding not yet awake.

     “I-i-it’s late,” I stammered,” I should be getting back to the cottage my grandparents might worry if I don’t.” I started for the stairs.

     He rushed in front of me,”I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to start yelling earlier I was just shocked is all.” He looked down a bit ashamed.

     “I suppose it’s a bit shocking seeing two girls together that way.” I replied also feeling shame, she knew what they had been doing was wrong but it always felt so good.

      “It's not that…..” he started blushing,”it wasn’t because you are both girls.” He takes another pause and a deep breath.”It’s because I was jealous, my sister has told me how beautiful and smart you have become over the last years. When I got home and saw you in the yard helping your Grandma I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. I was Jealous that I wasn’t the one touching you like she was.” He had spoken fast and the blush on his cheeks had gotten deeper; he almost looked as red as a cherry.

     I had felt the heat in my face as well as I’m sure I was also blushing, as I looked him in the eyes I felt my hearts beating faster. And before I could think of what to say he kissed me. All I could think of was how this was wrong and how it felt so very good. And before I knew it I was back on the pile, the same pile the Andrew was sleeping on a few moments before and was were Lucy and I had spent so many hot summer afternoons. We were so distracted we didn’t hear my Grandparents start looking for me, I had been gone longer than expected and he had gotten worried.

     We didn’t hear them climbing the stairs and walking across the floor boards. We didn’t notice them standing there watching dumbfounded for a minute. The shouting started and like before we all ran Andrew ran trying to get around them and get to the stairs, my grandma ran for him in a reversal of his reaction to his sister earlier, I ran again for and down the old ladder, my grandpa ran after me but he’s slower. As I reached the bottom of the ladder and ran for the stable door I heard the ladder give way and my Grandfather came falling down onto the floor.

      That night I spent the evening crying on the floor of my room. pushed against the wall next to the door I listened to the conversation my grandma had with Andrew's mother. I listened to her say how responsible she felt for my grandfather's death, that if she had replaced the ladder this wouldn’t have happened. She offered to pay for the funeral arrangements, and for private school in London for me. She said that after I watched him fall it might be best for me to get away to new scenery. Two days after the funeral I left for London and I’ve never return, I’ve never felt a desire to